Team games were originally brought into schools to allow pupils to cope with both success and failure so allowing them to develop as individuals. This enables them to see that they are far more important than the results that they achieve or what team they are in.
The school has a very experienced and well qualified set of coaches who aim to develop both players and teams to the highest level they can achieve. Eltham College has achieved a great deal of success over the years with this aim. The rugby coaching staff gives up a great deal of time to allow this to happen and is always available to answer questions from the pupils about team selection. All boys are told at the start of term that this is the way to handle things. This encourages the boys to develop independence and self-esteem. If a parent becomes involved in the discussion of selection, this immediately tells the boy that they have failed or let their parents down or equally that they cannot be trusted to deal with this challenge on their own.
It is self-evident that every parent would like to have their own child in the team and so the coach has to select as an independent person rather than allowing a parental committee to decide. We believe that the coach’s judgement on issues such as selection must be accepted as final. However well you know your son, you cannot share the same overview of the whole team. The coach is best suited and entirely qualified to take all factors into consideration and make the right decisions for the team as a whole.
The most important issue is that the boy is allowed to develop into a happy individual because he knows that he can cope with whatever life throws at him. It is obviously very disappointing not to make the team or not to be playing in his favourite position but the job of the adults around him is to support and inform him, not to try to change the world for him.
We thank you for your support on this matter, and look forward to seeing you on the touchline in the near future.